It’s Okay To… ask twice

By Dr Louisa Slingsby, Teaching Fellow in Bristol Veterinary School and Mental Health Champion

#AskTwice forms part of the ‘Time to Change’ campaign. If you reach out to someone who you suspect is suffering or struggling and they say that they’re fine, reach out again.

Sometimes we worry that reaching out might upset or annoy the person we have reached out to. This might stop us from a welcome act of kindness.

Let me tell you my recent story.

Like many, I am feeling anxious, stressed, overworked, and ground down by the continual uncertainty and change. Last week I was starting to tip downwards, and this was picked up by a colleague who asked by email if I was okay.

I said I was fine, but I wasn’t.

This week started with yet another piece of COVID-related fire-fighting that was the final straw. The same colleague emailed again to ask if I was fine. This time, I thought for a moment and then replied ‘no’.

Within minutes this person had rung me on my personal mobile and opened with the words ‘I am ringing as a friend’ (they are also in a position of authority in my school). We had a short chat; I had a little cry. My goodness, that helped. Just knowing that someone had given the time to hear me made me feel supported and cared for.

So next time you reach out to someone and they say they are fine, give it some time – and then ask again.

 

5 thoughts on “It’s Okay To… ask twice

  1. What a brilliant piece Louisa, thank you so much for sharing, and daring to be vulnerable as Brene Brown would say.

    1. Thanks for sharing Louisa. As someone who routinely does the “I’m fine” response, I think this is an important message.

  2. . Thank you very much for sharing. When reading this, I cried because I’m very much touched-we’re fortunate working at UoB such caring and loving environment-Thank You! I think Dr. Louisa’s colleague doesn’t upset/annoy, instead he/she is very nice and kind helping. From the perspective of my culture, it’s not meant to stop your kindness but that of ‘don’t want to bring you more trouble’ and it’s definitely fine (as it is). Again, thanks UoB provision of help and support to staff-that’s our harbour . With sincere thanks,

  3. Thank you for sharing this. I think we’ve all had these moments, and it’s important to be able to talk about them and recognise them in others.

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