By John Halliwell, Impact Development Manager, Faculty of Health Sciences
One of the many things that I found difficult in the previous two lockdowns was a quite specific product of home schooling: having to choose between whose work meeting was more important – mine or my wife’s.
Judging the relative importance of your career is not a helpful conversation to have with your partner. This put more strain on an already tricky domestic situation, so this time round I am getting better at avoiding that, simply by limiting meetings, by occupying the kids so that we can both work, and by being really conscious and explicit about that balance.
Last time round I got it wrong, and worked far too hard – I’m doing better this time round.
In terms of managing my calendar I’ve made it clear that I don’t have capacity for more than four hours of meetings a day. I keep 12 – 2 pm clear every day so that I can carve out some time for myself and the family.
We’re all finding it hard, whatever the context we’re operating in, and for me guilt was the dominant emotion in previous lockdowns, but I feel like I’m learning, and I’m not feeling as guilty.
Everyone approaches this differently, but if I can get an hour of focused home schooling done every weekday, then that’s enough for now.
Thanks for sharing John. That is a really practical way to deal with the otherwise ambiguous ‘being kind to yourself’ messaging around balance. Applying realistic goals and structure to that kindness is so helpful, and clearer expectations of ourselves alleviates that guilt that I can very much relate to! Switches the internal dialogue of ‘failing’ as parent, teacher and professional, to being the best we can be for right now.
Thank you John. I think you’ve really captured the challenges and I like how you have also included possible solutions. Helen
Nice post, John! V helpful to read about managing parental guilt and the daily tension of trying to decide whose job needs more time…
A really pragmatic and positive response to lockdown. Thank you, John. I think many of us could limit our meetings each day and become more productive.