Author: Nick Riddle

By Natalie Read, Counsellor at the Student Counselling Service

Wanting to do well and achieve success is an understandable desire, but when does this become unhelpful or even unhealthy?

When your expectations are about being superhuman by imagining it’s possible to be happy and productive all the time or successful in every project, your wellbeing can be negatively affected. Not meeting these high expectations can lead to low mood and frustration as well as adding stress and anxiety about the perceived consequences. You may even feel that you’ve failed in some way, adding a further cycle of negative thoughts and feelings.

To compensate, you may develop strategies such as perfectionism, worrying, overworking, avoidance or people-pleasing. Whilst well intended, these strategies are not only ineffective (as it’s not possible to control life or avoid feelings indefinitely), they also come with unhelpful side-effects.

Instead, working towards a more realistic expectation of humanness can lead to greater happiness, self-confidence and success. Coming to terms with who you are and the realities of life – that’s being human, with unique strengths and also development needs.

There’s a difference between knowing this and putting it into practice, so here are some principles to help.

Have expectations which reflect the flow of life. Like the weather, life is naturally full of ups and downs. No one is immune to life’s challenges or facing difficult emotions. You can’t avoid these, but you can influence the size of the “down”. Every time you judge yourself, or blame yourself for other people coping better, or ignore your feelings, you create additional layers of emotion on top of what you’re already experiencing. Each additional layer makes the “down” more difficult to overcome.

If instead you acknowledge that, despite appearances, everyone faces difficulties from time to time, you can navigate the “down” more easily as you don’t have those extra feelings of guilt and shame to deal with. Acknowledging that makes life easier, though it’s not easy!

This is especially relevant now, when we’re facing increasing complexity and uncertainty in so many ways. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or low, try putting easier, more routine tasks, and tasks that match your strengths, into your day. Lower your expectations of yourself, practice more self-care and self-compassion than normal, find an outlet for your emotions and try not to add more layers of judgement to the billing.

Re-evaluate success. By learning to measure yourself by your intentions and your effort rather than outcomes or responses, you take back control of how you define success. Not expecting positive results all the time and remembering that actually you grow and learn the most as a result of difficulties and challenges can prevent you from feeling a failure. When something doesn’t go well, acknowledge that it could be something to learn from or is helping you towards a happier or more successful outcome in the long run.

These strategies are relevant to both professional and personal circumstances. Try to make your coping strategies more conscious, then review their impact and what decide what could make them even more effective. What could help you see yourself as more human, not superhuman?

Natalie Read is the author of Being Human – the path to self-acceptance, resilience and happiness.

 

By Will Boardman, Teaching Technician, School of Anatomy

I must begin by confessing that I’m probably more fortunate than most under current conditions. I’m still able to come to work and do a job. That job has changed a lot, but we’re still providing support to practical classes for the medical and vet students.

Being able to leave the house and keep busy has been very important for my mood and mental health. I am also very fortunate not to be living alone, and I know that many people have neither of these advantages. I completely empathise with them and the feelings of being trapped and isolated that they may well be experiencing.

So I feel slightly guilty about expressing any grievances over how the pandemic has inconvenienced me. But I just really miss the small things that were once taken for granted: visiting friends and family, eating in a restaurant, getting my hair cut, having a cold pint of beer in a pub. And my work on campus now has its own kind of isolation: little or no interaction with students or colleagues. I miss conversations – short or long, trivial or serious.

That’s probably why I found myself listening to more podcasts than usual. The podcast format is great for longer conversations than you find on the radio, and they come in all shapes and sizes. Everyone has their own favourites; a couple of mine are Happy Place and The Magic Sponge.

Recently I started to think how great it would be to create a podcast myself – one that would help others during these strange times.

Immediately, I wrote myself off. What do I know about creating a podcast? Where would I even start? But when I mentioned these ponderings to my wife, she gave me the confidence boost and supportive belief to give it a go. I did some research and attended a couple of webinars on starting a podcast, and suddenly it started to feel achievable.

Getting my technician colleague Charlie on board was a big positive for me. Not only because most projects are less intimidating when you’re not alone, but also because Charlie is genuinely fascinated by mental health and wellbeing and has far greater knowledge on the subject than I do.

So we took a deep breath and went for it!

We had positive feedback for the first episode, and having recently recorded the second, with the fantastic Allison McRitchie, I’m so pleased that I overcame my own doubts.

If you’re not familiar with the podcast world, why not try it? You can find yourself listening in on some fascinating – and sometimes funny – conversations. Especially in current circumstances, podcasts can be a way of hearing some quality chat if you’re missing it in real life. Of course, we’d be delighted if you felt like checking out ours!

The Technical Healing podcast is available on Apple podcasts and Spotify.

 

By Professor Sarah Purdy, Pro Vice-Chancellor (Student Experience)  

This morning I spoke with a colleague who shared that today wasn’t a good day. I was pleased they felt able to say something and we talked about how things are hard right now and what might help.

I’ve found working from home especially difficult when things at work are challenging. Like everyone, I’m used to talking things over with colleagues, sharing the burden and getting – and offering – other points of view.

In lockdown, I’ve been missing the things I normally do to unwind and recharge my batteries; things like meeting friends for coffee or lunch, or going for walks in the country or along the coast.

I also work as a GP in the city, and with that hat on, I’m all too aware of the loneliness that a lot of people are feeling, along with anxiety about the uncertainty, their own health and that of loved ones, financial worries and what the future holds.

Often all I can do is listen and try and encourage people to disconnect from the news and media for a while and to reconnect with someone else, and with nature. Both can be really helpful.

Many of us have found ourselves drifting out of touch with friends – it’s something that can happen at the best of times, which these times most certainly aren’t. So, try phoning someone you haven’t spoken to in a while; your call may be the only real conversation they (and you) have that day. Maybe talk about how you feel and ask them how they are. Just asking and listening is very powerful.

So that would be my tip: disconnect and reconnect. Of course small actions like these won’t work miracles, but they really can make a difference – both to you and to the people you reconnect with.

 

Roseanna Cross and Kathy Purdy, School of Cellular and Molecular Medicine 

 

         

In the Faculty of Life Sciences, a common complaint from staff was the overwhelming number of meetings that they were expected to attend. This was a problem even before the pandemic, but it got worse when online meetings took over. It was true of University, Faculty, School and group/team meetings, as well as one-to-ones with staff, and all the teaching commitments academic staff have, too.

The Faculty was keen to address the issue by introducing a day when no Faculty or School meetings took place, and all Schools were asked which day would fit in best for this. In the School of Cellular and Molecular Medicine we had already reviewed our committee schedule to reduce the number and length of meetings wherever we could, and we had trialled a year of ‘meeting-free Fridays’, where we avoided admin / committee meetings on Fridays wherever possible. We also ensured that no committee meetings took place in school holidays or outside the hours of 10 am – 4 pm, to help staff with caring responsibilities.

This meant that staff could carve out a space in their diaries for valuable thinking time, and it was then up to individual Research Groups or Admin Teams to decide if they wanted to use this ‘free’ day to focus on research or specific project work. Since 2020, the Faculty has joined ‘meeting-free Fridays’, which has further reduced the meeting load on Fridays (though teaching commitments can still pop up).

The impact of these initiatives has been that many staff have taken the option to block out their calendar on Fridays as a ‘meeting-free day’ and are able to benefit from the opportunity to have some much-needed focus time without the interruptions of meetings. Positive feedback from staff has been that they really appreciate being able to sink their teeth into a meaty piece of work without being interrupted, and they feel less stressed in the week because they know they can catch up on Friday.

The Faculty has also encouraged meetings that were previously booked for an hour or more to be reduced by 10 mins (to 50 minutes, or 1hr 20 minutes) so staff can have a break from the screen, go to the loo or grab a coffee, or so they can catch up on emails or follow up on actions resulting from the previous meeting.

We’re keen to look at other ways to improve the wellbeing of our colleagues on an ongoing basis and are always open to suggestions.